Rewilding Pain
Pain is often considered unwanted, uncomfortable and annoying. What if it is so much more?
I have what some would call an unhealthy obsession with understanding pain. It truly has been my passion for the past several years. A few months ago, I had a bout of insomnia where I would wake up at 3 am and my brain would not stop spinning. One of those nights, the words below flew out of me. Of course, a bit of editing was necessary because my brain doesn't work that well at 3 am, but the idea is unedited. This was prior to the word rewilding entering my conscious, yet it captures the concept beautifully.
My work with pain began as a scientific quest to understand something that is so misunderstood by our society. Each road I traveled down seemed like it dead ended into a spiritual path. The more I dove into the science the more I surfaced into the spiritual. Over and over I kept being led towards ancient wisdom that could explain the science better than the western world. It unveiled an undercurrent that connected so many seemingly disconnected parts of the puzzle. The mystics and medicine women seemed to know more than the researcher and scientist.
Frequently, I need to change the lens in which I view the problem. I was constantly brought back to the idea that it isn’t a problem. I am seeking to fix something that does not need fixing. The human body is an incredible and Intelligently designed organism. It can do things we call miraculous if we allow it.
My western intellectual lens drove me to stay blinded for so long. I kept coming back to embodiment, coherence, community, connection, resonance. That is the lens I want to share with you. Try it on, it will be uncomfortable. Pain is uncomfortable but necessary. Pain is a beautiful part of life that serves us all well.
Pain is disconnection. Learning about pain cannot be an intellectual act. It must be an embodiment. To learn we must unlearn. To unlearn we must be comfortable in discomfort. Discomfort may increase pain. But pain is a calling back towards. Pain is a remembering. Pain is an invitation to return to what we always knew.
We live in a society that dishonors the human experience. It attempts to disconnect each of us from our own inner wisdom. To create tension within to encourage seeking outward. Pain is our bodies attempt to disrupt this system. Pain is the body’s way to bring us back home. It is a perfect system that we have created a perception of imperfection around.
We are taught that pain is bad, weakness, a fault, a problem. What if we have gotten that completely wrong? Pain is exactly how our body is supposed to work. Just like everything our body does daily. There is no right or wrong or good or bad. Those are all perceptions of ourselves created by comparison to a “norm” that is unattainable.
Pain is a calling back towards ourselves. Pain is a disrupter of patterns that no longer serve us. Pain is an opportunity to learn and grow. We do not gain insight to life through the ordinary. We become who we are meant to become by enduring the extraordinary.
Does this mean suffering from pain is good? No. Suffering is a part of life per Buddhist philosophy. It is a choice to suffer or find ease in all places. To find contentment and curiosity in the fire of life is a skill that we must acquire. With acquisition of this skill, our life becomes an adventure rather than a chore.
Tapas is one of the niyamas, the observances of yoga. It is self discipline, austerity, heat, fire. It is the idea that we must go through the fire to refine ourselves. It speaks to the idea that pain is a calling in. An invitation to come back to a piece of ourselves that has been ignored for too long. A part of ourselves that desires to be connected and whole.
Pain is the shell hiding the sweetest little seed from sight. Without the shell, the seed may not survive long enough to thrive. But eventually, the shell no longer serves the seed and it must crack and open to allow the seed to grow. If we do not let our pain crack us open, we can never know the potential of our own growth.
Rewilding pain is to learn to listen rather than ignore. It is to sense pain as information rather than fear its existence. To be brave enough to be present with pain and hear its full story. Pain is not always bad. When we attempt to tame pain, we break it of its beauty. Pain can be an experience that guides us towards expansion.
When is the last time pain was a teacher for you on your rewilding journey?